isabella camping tables image
horseychee
Chapter one
Missing home
Ella hurry up itâs 7: 15 and the buss leaves at 20 after . Ellaâs mom yelled from the bottom of the stairs. Coming! Ella yelled back to her mom racing to put her boots on . As soon as Ella put her boots on she ran down the stairs and grabbed her books and ran to catch the buss. now Ella remember to come home right after school and STAY OUT OF THE SUN. Yes mom I know Iâm not a little kid. Yes but remember here not everyone is a vampire like your old school. In fact I donât even know if there are any vampires at this school . Ellaâs mom announced . So Iâm going to school with mortals? Ella asked sounding disgusted standing by the back door. Yes and if you blow our cover we will have to move agin.
or
At lunch Jake, J.D., Jessica, Isabella and Brooke were all sitting together at lunch as usual. Isabella was the newest of the five she only moved here at the beginning of the year. Though Jake, J.D., Jessica and Brooke had been friends ever since the first grade. Anyway Brooke had been dying to tell everybody the good news that her dad was feeling much better and their annual camping trip could resume this weekend. So after J.D. was done, telling another one of his âstoriesâ of how he ripped yet another deer with his bare hands. Isabella butted in and said
â J.D. we all know thatâs not true so you donât have to tell those stories anymore and there getting kinda old. I think we all can agree on that. Right.â And of course everyone did agree. Then J.D. got very mad and had another J.D. moment. âWell Isabella did ever think I like telling those stories. And besides its sort of like my tradition. Every year I pick a new subject to tell stories about.â Then Isabella pounded her fist on the lunch room table and pouted â you know I like being called Bell! Some times I think you just call me that to annoy me.â Then Jessica broke in and said â whoa, whoa, whoa brake it up. If I didnât know any better Iâd think you were brother and sister the way you two argue.â then Brooke broke in taking another bite of her sandwich.
âWell. My dad said he was felling much better and that he could take us on our annual camping trip this weekend.â Then Bell asked â um . . . this weekend isnât there supposed to be a full moon?â then Jake replied â I think so but what dose a full moons have to do with camping.â Everyone looked at Bell. â Well my mom believes in all this spirt junk and I canât say out after 8:00 p.m. on a full moon.âEveryone looked at Bell like she had just said she never eats or something.
Then by this time lunch was over. So they all gabbed their trash and threw it away and headed to class. On the way to class Jessica begged Bell to go â come on Bell it wonât be as much fun without you.â J.D. cut in âyes it would.â Jessica came back in after rudely being interrupted.
p.s. tell me why it is better and how can it be improved and what grade level these books are on . i'm aming for a book for third grade or higher
ok so how about mabey in the second story i describe each of the people before we start the conversation.
Answer
The second one, just for the fact that the grammar is better. Remember that every time a different character speaks you should start a new paragraph, and all dialogue should have quotes around it. Oh, and please use a spell-check, as well. Perhaps you could also hold off on explaining that they're vampires for a little while to add dramatic effect, such as at the end of the chapter when they leave to go or something the mom says, "Be careful, you know this isn't like your last school."
"Yeah, I know, mom. There aren't any vampires here."
Another thing; things like, "Everyone looked at Bell like she had just said she never eats or something" isn't grammatically correct. Keep in either present or past tense, not both. Instead, try, "Everyone looked at Bell like she had said she had never eaten." The 'or something' part isn't necessary.
Overall, you need to do quite a bit of editing, but this has some potential. I'm sorry if this has offended you, but you won't learn if everyone lies and says your work is perfect. Nobody's work is perfect, not even the work of people such as JK Rowling.
The second one, just for the fact that the grammar is better. Remember that every time a different character speaks you should start a new paragraph, and all dialogue should have quotes around it. Oh, and please use a spell-check, as well. Perhaps you could also hold off on explaining that they're vampires for a little while to add dramatic effect, such as at the end of the chapter when they leave to go or something the mom says, "Be careful, you know this isn't like your last school."
"Yeah, I know, mom. There aren't any vampires here."
Another thing; things like, "Everyone looked at Bell like she had just said she never eats or something" isn't grammatically correct. Keep in either present or past tense, not both. Instead, try, "Everyone looked at Bell like she had said she had never eaten." The 'or something' part isn't necessary.
Overall, you need to do quite a bit of editing, but this has some potential. I'm sorry if this has offended you, but you won't learn if everyone lies and says your work is perfect. Nobody's work is perfect, not even the work of people such as JK Rowling.
Twilight summary pages 1-28?
Straight E
i need a summary of twilight the book pages 3-28 please!?! Thank you
Answer
We meet high school junior Isabella Swan, or Bella as she prefers to be called. She is a very pale skinned brunette with a quick mind and a sarcastic sense of humor. She is leaving her mother and stepfatherâs home in Phoenix, Arizona to live with her father in Forks, Washington. She feels she needs to give her mother, Renee, space to be with her new husband, Phil, who is a minor league baseball ballplayer. Sheâs apprehensive about moving in with her dad, Charlie, who is the townâs sheriff. Up until now, they have only ever spent parts of summers together. Bella hasnât been to Forks in three years.
Forks couldnât be more different than sunny, metropolitan Phoenix if it tried. The weather is cool, overcast, and clammy most days. Forks High School, where Bella is to start school the following day only has 358 students including Bella.
Charlie picks Bella up at the Port Angles airport. Bella finds conversing with Charlie stilted at first, but they soon warm up to each other. Charlie has bought Bella a red, 1950âs Chevy pickup truck, formerly owned by Quileute tribal elder Billy Black, so she can have the freedom to come and go without depending on rides in the squad car. Bella is relieved to find that the truck is a lot cooler than she had imagined.
Bella takes herself to school her first day and learns to navigate the large campus that consists of many buildings. She soon realizes that she is ahead of the work in most of her classes. In general, she is a bright and talented student. Her only academic failing is gym, where she is completely uncoordinated.
Bella meets several classmates and ends up sitting at their table during lunch. Eric is tall and lanky with greasy black hair and is something of a nerd. Angela is repeats herself a lot. Mike is good-looking and easy going. Jessica is bubbly, friendly, and fills Bella in about the âdevastatingly, inhumanly beautifulâ members of the Cullen family that Bella has noticed.
Jessica describes in detail Rosalie and Jasper Hale, Alice, Edward, and Emmett Cullenâs relationship with their parents and guardians Dr. Carlisle Cullen and Mrs. Esme Cullen. The family moved to Forks from Alaska two years ago when Carlisle became the town doctor. They are a close-knit, somewhat aloof group that drive themselves to school in a flashy, silver Volvo. They often go on family camping trips.
Bella is assigned to sit next to Edward Cullen in biology class and has this odd feeling that he dislikes her. She notices that he alternates between glaring at her and clenching and unclenching his fists. At the end of the school day, Bella goes to the principalâs office to hand in paperwork and discovers Edward there. He doesnât noticed Bella at first and continues his animated discussion with the secretary where he demands to be transferred out of his biology class. When he realizes Bella is there, he abruptly leaves. Bella drives herself home fighting back tears unsure why Edward Cullen has affected her so much.
We meet high school junior Isabella Swan, or Bella as she prefers to be called. She is a very pale skinned brunette with a quick mind and a sarcastic sense of humor. She is leaving her mother and stepfatherâs home in Phoenix, Arizona to live with her father in Forks, Washington. She feels she needs to give her mother, Renee, space to be with her new husband, Phil, who is a minor league baseball ballplayer. Sheâs apprehensive about moving in with her dad, Charlie, who is the townâs sheriff. Up until now, they have only ever spent parts of summers together. Bella hasnât been to Forks in three years.
Forks couldnât be more different than sunny, metropolitan Phoenix if it tried. The weather is cool, overcast, and clammy most days. Forks High School, where Bella is to start school the following day only has 358 students including Bella.
Charlie picks Bella up at the Port Angles airport. Bella finds conversing with Charlie stilted at first, but they soon warm up to each other. Charlie has bought Bella a red, 1950âs Chevy pickup truck, formerly owned by Quileute tribal elder Billy Black, so she can have the freedom to come and go without depending on rides in the squad car. Bella is relieved to find that the truck is a lot cooler than she had imagined.
Bella takes herself to school her first day and learns to navigate the large campus that consists of many buildings. She soon realizes that she is ahead of the work in most of her classes. In general, she is a bright and talented student. Her only academic failing is gym, where she is completely uncoordinated.
Bella meets several classmates and ends up sitting at their table during lunch. Eric is tall and lanky with greasy black hair and is something of a nerd. Angela is repeats herself a lot. Mike is good-looking and easy going. Jessica is bubbly, friendly, and fills Bella in about the âdevastatingly, inhumanly beautifulâ members of the Cullen family that Bella has noticed.
Jessica describes in detail Rosalie and Jasper Hale, Alice, Edward, and Emmett Cullenâs relationship with their parents and guardians Dr. Carlisle Cullen and Mrs. Esme Cullen. The family moved to Forks from Alaska two years ago when Carlisle became the town doctor. They are a close-knit, somewhat aloof group that drive themselves to school in a flashy, silver Volvo. They often go on family camping trips.
Bella is assigned to sit next to Edward Cullen in biology class and has this odd feeling that he dislikes her. She notices that he alternates between glaring at her and clenching and unclenching his fists. At the end of the school day, Bella goes to the principalâs office to hand in paperwork and discovers Edward there. He doesnât noticed Bella at first and continues his animated discussion with the secretary where he demands to be transferred out of his biology class. When he realizes Bella is there, he abruptly leaves. Bella drives herself home fighting back tears unsure why Edward Cullen has affected her so much.
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Title Post: which is a better start for a book?
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Thanks For Coming To My Blog
Rating: 96% based on 9658 ratings. 4,4 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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