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Q. Dear Mr. Whisperer,
This is to inform you we have reviewed your proposal (-The Big Book of Celebrity Turds-working title-) and are happy to report we are firmly on-board. We feel this is an untapped area of exploration, woefully under-represented, and perfect for a coffee-table book.
We were most impressed with your preliminary work and chapter layout. A special section for musicians is a great idea. Where on Earth did you find that pic of Jimi Hendrix squatting at Woodstock? My God---it looks like he has four legs!
We feel an entire chapter devoted to the emergency turd pinched by Ed Asner in a backstage-bucket during a live taping of The Mary Tyler Moore Show to be inspired. Is it true no one could get within 12 feet of the bucket without losing consciousness? Did they really have to cut a small hole in the roof and have the bucket removed via helicopter? We find the backstory to these celebrity turds fascinating---your take on the Danny DeVito mishap left us ROFLâ¦
We loved the sample photos you included, and several of us think the enormous turd Gary Busey left on Kurt Russellâs star on the Hollywood Walk-Of-Fame would look lovely on the dust-jacketâjust a suggestion.
We understand no photos exist of the epic log deposited in Doris Dayâs cat-box by an inebriated Art Carney during her infamous 1972 Christmas dinner-party. Perhaps you could have one of the last surviving witnesses meet with a sketch-artistâ¦? ---again, just a suggestion.
We are intrigued by your idea of having Scratch N Sniff stickers beneath several specially-selected turds (Rosie O'Donnell), and we're having our experts look in to the matterâ¦
Based on what youâve shown us, we predict explosive sales in virtually every region and market, with especially strong movement in the South and Utah. Enclosed is a check for $20,000 to get you started. We understand youâll be needing extended lodging in California---we have taken the liberty of making available to you our corporate beach house in Malibu (keys and directions in the blue envelope) Please look it over, and if you find it satisfactoryâitâs all yours until October, when we have to ready-it for Salman Rushdie. (Feel free to use the Porsche in the garage.)
Please keep a lid on this project until weâre sure itâs going to float. We donât want Rush Limbaugh beating us to the printer!
Sincerely, Alice P. Fecalstains
Scribner, New York
This is to inform you we have reviewed your proposal (-The Big Book of Celebrity Turds-working title-) and are happy to report we are firmly on-board. We feel this is an untapped area of exploration, woefully under-represented, and perfect for a coffee-table book.
We were most impressed with your preliminary work and chapter layout. A special section for musicians is a great idea. Where on Earth did you find that pic of Jimi Hendrix squatting at Woodstock? My God---it looks like he has four legs!
We feel an entire chapter devoted to the emergency turd pinched by Ed Asner in a backstage-bucket during a live taping of The Mary Tyler Moore Show to be inspired. Is it true no one could get within 12 feet of the bucket without losing consciousness? Did they really have to cut a small hole in the roof and have the bucket removed via helicopter? We find the backstory to these celebrity turds fascinating---your take on the Danny DeVito mishap left us ROFLâ¦
We loved the sample photos you included, and several of us think the enormous turd Gary Busey left on Kurt Russellâs star on the Hollywood Walk-Of-Fame would look lovely on the dust-jacketâjust a suggestion.
We understand no photos exist of the epic log deposited in Doris Dayâs cat-box by an inebriated Art Carney during her infamous 1972 Christmas dinner-party. Perhaps you could have one of the last surviving witnesses meet with a sketch-artistâ¦? ---again, just a suggestion.
We are intrigued by your idea of having Scratch N Sniff stickers beneath several specially-selected turds (Rosie O'Donnell), and we're having our experts look in to the matterâ¦
Based on what youâve shown us, we predict explosive sales in virtually every region and market, with especially strong movement in the South and Utah. Enclosed is a check for $20,000 to get you started. We understand youâll be needing extended lodging in California---we have taken the liberty of making available to you our corporate beach house in Malibu (keys and directions in the blue envelope) Please look it over, and if you find it satisfactoryâitâs all yours until October, when we have to ready-it for Salman Rushdie. (Feel free to use the Porsche in the garage.)
Please keep a lid on this project until weâre sure itâs going to float. We donât want Rush Limbaugh beating us to the printer!
Sincerely, Alice P. Fecalstains
Scribner, New York
Answer
I hope you've done your research. This subject has been woefully understudied, and we have a lot to learn.
For instance, did you know one of O.J. Simpson's turds started a race war in Cellblock 15, only a few months ago?
I hope you've done your research. This subject has been woefully understudied, and we have a lot to learn.
For instance, did you know one of O.J. Simpson's turds started a race war in Cellblock 15, only a few months ago?
What items come with the Hannah Montana Malibu Beach House?
Q. Please, I'm desperate to know what items (big and small accessories) come with the house. I would love a link to the instructions manual or something, but any help would be GREATLY appreciated!
Answer
Found on Amazon. Here you go:
Includes over 80 Pieces of Furniture & Accessories: House, Day Bed, Bed Spread, Pillow, 2 Hanging Lights, Surf Board, Hanging Swing, Swing Drink Holder, Patioi Chair, Patio Ottoman, Sunscreen, Phone w/Base, Vanity, Shoe Chair, Shoe Shelving, Clothes Rack, $ Hangers, 2 Stackable Dressers, 11" Doll with Fashions & Accessories, Checker Board, Perfume, Hair Dryer, Scarf, Shoes, Bracelet, 3 Magazines, Book, Kitchen Counter, Refrigerator, Table, 4 Drinking Glasses, Pitcher, Pot w/Lid, 2 Chairs, 2 Place Mats, 2 Napkins, 2 Spoons, 2 Forks, 2 Knives, 2 Plates, Fruit Bowl, Piano & Piano Bench, Coffee Table, Sofa, Striped Chair, 3 Guitars & 3 Guitar Stands, Leg Table, End Table, 2 Couch Pillows, 2 Pages of Sheet Music, Hannah Montana Pillow.
For Ages 6+ Years. Doll in photo NOT included. Dolls cannot stand alone as shown on box. Landscape & Scenery shown on box NOT included.
Included items are pretend & intended for Hannah & 11" fashion dolls. Hannah Doll can relax on a Lounge Chair in the Sun or Chill Out at the Beach. Stuff used is All New Material; Polyester Fiber.
Found on Amazon. Here you go:
Includes over 80 Pieces of Furniture & Accessories: House, Day Bed, Bed Spread, Pillow, 2 Hanging Lights, Surf Board, Hanging Swing, Swing Drink Holder, Patioi Chair, Patio Ottoman, Sunscreen, Phone w/Base, Vanity, Shoe Chair, Shoe Shelving, Clothes Rack, $ Hangers, 2 Stackable Dressers, 11" Doll with Fashions & Accessories, Checker Board, Perfume, Hair Dryer, Scarf, Shoes, Bracelet, 3 Magazines, Book, Kitchen Counter, Refrigerator, Table, 4 Drinking Glasses, Pitcher, Pot w/Lid, 2 Chairs, 2 Place Mats, 2 Napkins, 2 Spoons, 2 Forks, 2 Knives, 2 Plates, Fruit Bowl, Piano & Piano Bench, Coffee Table, Sofa, Striped Chair, 3 Guitars & 3 Guitar Stands, Leg Table, End Table, 2 Couch Pillows, 2 Pages of Sheet Music, Hannah Montana Pillow.
For Ages 6+ Years. Doll in photo NOT included. Dolls cannot stand alone as shown on box. Landscape & Scenery shown on box NOT included.
Included items are pretend & intended for Hannah & 11" fashion dolls. Hannah Doll can relax on a Lounge Chair in the Sun or Chill Out at the Beach. Stuff used is All New Material; Polyester Fiber.
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Title Post: Will you comment on the letter I got from my publisher?
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Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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