How is this section of my Story? In particular could my introductions use work?

camping table top fridge image

Firepaw

As the airship zoomed through the sky going faster than any airship known to society it's engines started to falter and the crew on board started to get frantic. "Turn on the emergency breaks" shouted some creature over the loud noise of dying engines. As the emergency breaks came on the creatures on the ship relaxed a little and the pilot put the auto-land on high in order to ignore the main engine. As he switched to the second engine the ship sputtered back to life and the crew landed safely in the forest below.

After the ship landed they got out one by one the first to step off was a short stock of a man, with a beard covering almost his entire face and long shaggy hair. The next to get out was a tall slender species with long brown hair and not a touch of facial hair. The green eyes and pointed ears were noticeably the most exotic features on him. As he stepped out he joined the dwarf. The third to come out was the pilot, a species with long slender legs and a greenish brown tint to his skin. The pilot's eyes were beady and stuck out of the top of his head right between his antennas. As he joined his friends by the large tree another being stepped out ducking her head as she came into view. This one had beady eyes as well as a long golden beak. The legs were large and muscular with talons that were covered by armored boots. The last to get out held a cuffed prisoner in front of her wolf like form. As she threw the prisoner forward he stumbled and was caught by the insect. After Shaytara got out she set the ship to stealth mode to keep it hidden in case they needed it later.

As the group gathered around they began to search for a good place to set up a camp. It would only be a one night camp, still, Shaytara decided they would need a tent with a prison room. She took out a steel ball, placed it on the ground and stepped on a button on the top of the ball. In an instant the steel ball transformed into a tent. It stood about four feet over their heads. The prison cell stood in the front of them across from the entrance hall. There were three rooms to their right and two to their left. The table in the center was for dining or meeting at and the small fridge in the wall only contained food that was provided. There was also a microwave oven built into the wall and a stove built into the floor. As Shaytara put the food in the fridge; the bug threw the prisoner in his cell and closed it with a lever on the floor a good three feet away from the prison cell. The group sat at the table in order to have a meeting about their current position. They were after all politicians to some extent.

Just when Shaytara was about to speak the prisoner stirred from his coma as though he was supposed to. The prisoner looked just like Shaytara only larger and more masculine. As he spoke above Shaytara everyone looked at him in disgust. "You're all traitors to the United Galaxies; you will die by my hands when I get out of here." "If you kill one of us in our sleep the rest of us will hear you." "Oh, my dear daughter you're so wrong in assuming you'll be asleep when I kill you." "You're nothing less than a blood spitting coward" said Kadyen the elf. "You're one to speak of cowardice Kadyen. You could be high Prince if you wanted to; instead you let your dull *** brother rule the elves only for the fact that he has magic." "You fool how dare you speak about a member of the high council in such a way." "I should be a representative of the high council; thanks to my very own daughter and her blood spitting mate I'm just a prisoner on a completely unknown world."

Answer
It is good, well planned. Needs a bit of brush up in the opening intro... Other wise colour me intrigued

Wrote a long letter to my local MP and the reply I got was "Constituent Ms Paige?" what that mean?

Sophie

The letter I wrote;

Dear Jim Fitzpatrick,
I am a young person (eighteen) who's recently moved into my own accommodation for the first time after coming out a resettlement program/a hostel. In august I applied for a community care grant to set up my first ever home, but got declined. I'm not in contact with any family and therefore have to support myself. I since then have appealed a number of times to be declined again. One of there requirements is to have come out of a resettlement program of what I have.

I quote this section that is within a letter sent to me:

"We can pay community care grants to help people in certain circumstances. For example:

- to return to, or stay in, the community rather than having to be in 'care'. By 'care' we mean places like hospital, nursing homes and old people's home.
- to return to the community from places like detention centres.
- to cope with exceptional pressure on themselves and their families.
- to set up home in the community as part of a planned resettlement programme following a period when a person has no permanent home.
- to visit someone who is ill or for another urgent reason. "

So I don't understand why I'm getting declined. I'm currently actively seeking work and finding it difficult as I haven't got the basic essentials to look after myself.

Today ( 15th November 2012), I phoned up to apply for a crisis loan and the person who I spoke to I also asked for advice on the community care grant being declined. I then found out that what I applied for apparently wasn't essential. I'll list some ex samples bellow.

I applied for a cooker so I can cook - I got told that its not essential and I could use a camping gas cooking gadget on top of my kitchen counters.

I applied for a fridge freezer - I got told that its also not essential and I can use a ice bag that will get my food to last for 2-3 days.
I applied for a washing machine as I don't know of any local laundry places - I got told that instead I can wash by hand.
I applied for some blinds as my flat is facing somebody else's accommodation - I got told as I'm on the 2nd floor it's not essential.
I applied for a bed base and mattress - I got told a base is not required but they would supply money for a cheap mattress.
Flooring such as carpet - I got told its not essential and I can get within my own time.
I applied for sofas, table and chairs - I got told this is not essential and I can sit on the floor.
I also applied for small objects such as a cutlery set and plate set but didn't get a comment on that.
I find it upsetting knowing that I really haven't got anybody out there to turn to for help. I wouldn't be requesting this financial aid of them if it was not required. Around the time I applied, a friend of mine who was also coming out a resettlement program applied for a community care grant with the same circumstances but also applied for similar items. She was given £1115 by the DWP who supply the community care grant. But yet I was declined. It seems to come across as random selection to who gets the financial support weather or not if there the same circumstances.

Another friend who is a young parents too two young children under the age of 5 is currently living in a privately rented temporary flat of what is currently fully furnished will be moving to a council temporary house that is unfurnished. She applied for a community care grant that would enable to set up a safe furnished home for herself and two young children. But has been declined of what is disgraceful as it seems the DWP would rather her have a young baby and a toddler sleeping on the floor? Like myself she's also has minimal contact with family and has to support herself and two children. I don't see why she has be declined as she has a legit reason.

I also found out from my key-worker from the hostel that this is a regularly thing people getting declined who have come out of a resettlement program. But after appealing four to five time then get £500 off the DWP what's half that was requested to set up a home. My hostel itself only takes on women from the age of 16-23, so when we move into our own accommodation we're young individuals who have come out of shared supported accommodation with the basic appliances we need. Too our own accommodation with nothing but a roof over our heads.

Personally, I think that resettlement programs, hostels and the DWP should all be joined. So when a person is ready to move into there own accommodation without the hassle of waiting months to see if you will be entitled to the financial support. They should be in contact with each-other before the person gets there accommodation so they money could possibly be set aside so soon as they move into there first flat. They have the money to set it up financially.

Yours faithfully

Answer
means your last name is Paige

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Title Post: How is this section of my Story? In particular could my introductions use work?
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