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John
Hi my names John, when I'm older I want to join the Airborne (military) but I have a bad fear of heights and as much as I want to join throwing your @$$ out of a plane thats at anywhere from 6,000-45,000 ft in the air is kinda frightening for me and they say tall people are more scared of heights to (I'm 6'4) any advice?
Answer
Fear of heights is relative to the place you are standing in. Standing on top of a table is 'higher' than standing flat on the floor, so unless you have a fear of ANY height greater than the ground floor, the point is to get your mind to understand what its definition of 'height' is and how it can learn to function at it.
That first means training your body to function at heights much lower than the target height. Function does not mean not being afraid, function means not allowing the fear to prevent you from accomplishing what you want to do. There's a big difference between being afraid of jumping out of an airplane and being afraid of jumping out of an airplane but doing it anyway. Even irrational fears cannot be 'reasoned' away, which means finding a compromise where the fear is allowed to be acknowledged or given permission while giving enough psychological ground for the rest of you to function.
So, first step is to figure out where your height threshold kicks in right now. My guess is something in the 50-100 ft range. Think of it like marathon training: your first few sessions are simply to establish base camp, what you can do safely. Once you find the height where you can function but still feel the fear, then you spend as much time acclimating yourself to that height as it takes.
This is very important. DO NOT GO BEYOND THIS HEIGHT UNTIL THE FEAR GOES AWAY. Pushing past fears is often how they become irrational, since the fear plus the loss of control is what drives the psychological impulse in the opposite direction. Letting the fear take control of when to say no is extremely important in getting past it. The fear is all about wanting to be acknowledged, wanting attention. Once it gets that attention, and sees the effort you make in respecting it, it will give ground until the height you could barely tolerate you have no problem with. Then you find the next height and start all over again, until you reach the target height.
And since you are planning to jump out of an airplane, do your best to avoid looking for negative reinforcements of why you shouldn't get in an airplane in the first place or shouldn't jump out of one. I understand the news is always geared towards the sensational, including whats online, but that sort of information, no matter how its presented, will help you. If you could reason your way out of this fear, you would have done so already.
Fear of heights is relative to the place you are standing in. Standing on top of a table is 'higher' than standing flat on the floor, so unless you have a fear of ANY height greater than the ground floor, the point is to get your mind to understand what its definition of 'height' is and how it can learn to function at it.
That first means training your body to function at heights much lower than the target height. Function does not mean not being afraid, function means not allowing the fear to prevent you from accomplishing what you want to do. There's a big difference between being afraid of jumping out of an airplane and being afraid of jumping out of an airplane but doing it anyway. Even irrational fears cannot be 'reasoned' away, which means finding a compromise where the fear is allowed to be acknowledged or given permission while giving enough psychological ground for the rest of you to function.
So, first step is to figure out where your height threshold kicks in right now. My guess is something in the 50-100 ft range. Think of it like marathon training: your first few sessions are simply to establish base camp, what you can do safely. Once you find the height where you can function but still feel the fear, then you spend as much time acclimating yourself to that height as it takes.
This is very important. DO NOT GO BEYOND THIS HEIGHT UNTIL THE FEAR GOES AWAY. Pushing past fears is often how they become irrational, since the fear plus the loss of control is what drives the psychological impulse in the opposite direction. Letting the fear take control of when to say no is extremely important in getting past it. The fear is all about wanting to be acknowledged, wanting attention. Once it gets that attention, and sees the effort you make in respecting it, it will give ground until the height you could barely tolerate you have no problem with. Then you find the next height and start all over again, until you reach the target height.
And since you are planning to jump out of an airplane, do your best to avoid looking for negative reinforcements of why you shouldn't get in an airplane in the first place or shouldn't jump out of one. I understand the news is always geared towards the sensational, including whats online, but that sort of information, no matter how its presented, will help you. If you could reason your way out of this fear, you would have done so already.
A question for all big boy restaurant servers. How many tables on average per server?
ms know it
I've applied there and was wondering about how many tables each server gets in each section. And if anyone knows the average time someone takes to eat. Thanks, it greatly appreciated.
Answer
I don't work at a big boys... but I have worked at restuarants of that type.
I have usually gotten 5-7 tables. But it always depends how many waiters/waitresses the boss puts on (which is often determined by the Day/Night and the time). At slow times, you could handle half the restaurant on your own, and other times 5 is running you ragged.
on average.. I would say people are at a table from 25-35 minutes..depending ALSO on the speed of the kitchen. ALSO.. figure out if there is something in the area that is a draw.
Example: If your restaurant is right near a movie theater- you are going to get rushes on date nights- but they will also be anxious to get out of there at a specific time. (It's busy- but people are cranky- in such a rush.)
I used to love Friday Nights, Saturday nights, and Sunday Mornings. usually Wednesday nights were good too- because people are getting antsy to go out to eat again.
Monday nights Zzzzzzzzzz. Tuesday nights, only slightly better than Mondays. Thursday nights are almost as bad as Tuesdays (since people are gearing up and staying home for their weekend).
If your restuarant is like mine used to be.. it's a superiority system. The waiters/waitresses who have either (1) been there the longest, (2) are the best, or (3) are friendliest with the manager get the best hours and best tables.
YES, you want near the windows. NO, you don't want the table by the bathroom. NO, you don't want the small tables for two.
BEST TIPPERS: Business men at lunch, and Daters who are trying to impress their new date (If there is a nice dressed older man dating a young lady..BINGO!!)
GOOD TIPPERS (considering): Current or former Waiters and Waitresses
WORST TIPPERS: Groups of teenagers, and Old ladies out to do lunch with the girls (Both will chat forever, be demanding, and tip little)
There ARE Ethnic differences in tipping- but I won't get into them here.
People will surprise you. Give them ALL great service. Be friendly- but measure your customers- some don't like chatty.
I have found the.. "Hi, I am __your name__, and I will be your server." is REALLY cheesey, and people cringe. They can see your name on your tag, they KNOW you are their server. They see it as a suck up. Unless made to, don't say it.
BONUS POINTS... get them coffee and water IMMEDIATELY (and keep it coming!), and if there are little kids, as the parents if they would like you to bring the child some crackers immediately!
Some places have recommendations about putting the check down. Don't and wait for dessert, or whenever.
I am in the camp that says, put the check down IMMEDIATELY!!! I would tell my customers, "I'm going to put this down here now, but I will be back to see if you would like dessert (or anything else) later." And then keep going back.
Your tip starts to decrease the moment they want to leave and then have to wait to FIND YOU, and then get you to give them your check.
ALWAYS be out and be visible- don't hide in the back!!
DON'T smoke on breaks- you come back smelling like a ..ICK!
And if the backroom is filled with smokers- take your break elsewhere. NO-ONE wants a smelly server.
Keep up with your side-work. Keep the condiments FILLED all the time! Who likes a half filled icky topped ketchup bottle on the table? Or a crusty bottle of mustard.. or the worst- warm creamers.
I don't work at a big boys... but I have worked at restuarants of that type.
I have usually gotten 5-7 tables. But it always depends how many waiters/waitresses the boss puts on (which is often determined by the Day/Night and the time). At slow times, you could handle half the restaurant on your own, and other times 5 is running you ragged.
on average.. I would say people are at a table from 25-35 minutes..depending ALSO on the speed of the kitchen. ALSO.. figure out if there is something in the area that is a draw.
Example: If your restaurant is right near a movie theater- you are going to get rushes on date nights- but they will also be anxious to get out of there at a specific time. (It's busy- but people are cranky- in such a rush.)
I used to love Friday Nights, Saturday nights, and Sunday Mornings. usually Wednesday nights were good too- because people are getting antsy to go out to eat again.
Monday nights Zzzzzzzzzz. Tuesday nights, only slightly better than Mondays. Thursday nights are almost as bad as Tuesdays (since people are gearing up and staying home for their weekend).
If your restuarant is like mine used to be.. it's a superiority system. The waiters/waitresses who have either (1) been there the longest, (2) are the best, or (3) are friendliest with the manager get the best hours and best tables.
YES, you want near the windows. NO, you don't want the table by the bathroom. NO, you don't want the small tables for two.
BEST TIPPERS: Business men at lunch, and Daters who are trying to impress their new date (If there is a nice dressed older man dating a young lady..BINGO!!)
GOOD TIPPERS (considering): Current or former Waiters and Waitresses
WORST TIPPERS: Groups of teenagers, and Old ladies out to do lunch with the girls (Both will chat forever, be demanding, and tip little)
There ARE Ethnic differences in tipping- but I won't get into them here.
People will surprise you. Give them ALL great service. Be friendly- but measure your customers- some don't like chatty.
I have found the.. "Hi, I am __your name__, and I will be your server." is REALLY cheesey, and people cringe. They can see your name on your tag, they KNOW you are their server. They see it as a suck up. Unless made to, don't say it.
BONUS POINTS... get them coffee and water IMMEDIATELY (and keep it coming!), and if there are little kids, as the parents if they would like you to bring the child some crackers immediately!
Some places have recommendations about putting the check down. Don't and wait for dessert, or whenever.
I am in the camp that says, put the check down IMMEDIATELY!!! I would tell my customers, "I'm going to put this down here now, but I will be back to see if you would like dessert (or anything else) later." And then keep going back.
Your tip starts to decrease the moment they want to leave and then have to wait to FIND YOU, and then get you to give them your check.
ALWAYS be out and be visible- don't hide in the back!!
DON'T smoke on breaks- you come back smelling like a ..ICK!
And if the backroom is filled with smokers- take your break elsewhere. NO-ONE wants a smelly server.
Keep up with your side-work. Keep the condiments FILLED all the time! Who likes a half filled icky topped ketchup bottle on the table? Or a crusty bottle of mustard.. or the worst- warm creamers.
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Title Post: How do I get over a fear of Heights?
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Rating: 96% based on 9658 ratings. 4,4 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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