How can I make my book better?

park benches tables image

Lonnie

I have not quite finished my book yet, I am just starting chapter 4, and am on 6700 words at the moment.

This is the basic story; It starts of with a young girl named Alice, who sets her school house on fire, the beginning paragraph is...
'Ill never forget the day at the old school house, It was everything to me, Everything I have ever loved was in it that night, its scary to think your whole life can change within minutes.
I went out later the same night, I was sat on a park bench when ambulances and police cars raced past me in the same direction as the house, I could see smoke in the far distance, right where the house would be, I panicked, and even though it wasn't my life in danger, my life flashed before my eyes, it was me who set the house on fire.
Was I more frightened for myself, or the fear of loosing everything in my life?
I run, breaking a sweat, not from where I am out of breath, but from where I am so nervous of getting caught, I stutter back and fall to the floor, my face wet with tears. Minutes passed which felt like hours and the fires were finally out. There were no survivors.'

She then goes back to the school house when she's older, and finds a homeless man living in there, She takes him to a shelter and falls in love with him over time. She finds out facts about him, such as when he was younger his mother got raped in front of him, and problems he faced such as; having anxiety and eating disorders. He also had no friends and was bullied and targeted at school. Through out their relationship, he doesn't invite her anywhere he goes, she begins to get suspicious, so one night she follows him to a cabin in the woods. She goes in when he leaves and finds a diary, it contains entry's of whom and how he has killed. His book is like his trophy. She hears him coming back so she hides under a table with a cloth on whilst he is killing a woman. She is forced to listen to the man she loves kill an innocent woman.

This is the basic story, Is there anything any one would do to improve this? Anything anyone would take out? I would appreciate any feed back, and will rate and choose best answers as soon as possible, Thankyou so much.

Answer
Well I must say that's a pretty bleak ending. It also makes me wonder why he's homeless if there's a cabin where he can go and do his killings? Right now it seems a little random that he's a serial killer, unless deep down he had been planning to kill her all along as well. The ideas are interesting, but seem to need a little more developing in order to be believable. You don't want it to seem like packing tragedy into a story - she has to be really affected by things or it ceases to be her story and then it becomes his. Unless you use both their points of view.

It's up to you. One thing I do suggest is just starting it at the inciting moment where something happens. 'I remember' is kind of stalling when it's more involving to read a story as things happen in-the-moment. Just some advice, anyway - unless you make the 'now' moment important and she flashes back. 'Water for Elephants' does that very craftily, but usually it's more intriguing (and easier) to write in a linear way. Just my thoughts for what they are worth, anyway.

Keep working on it and good luck!

What is the length of a traditional A frame picnic table?

Rusty B.

I need to buy a screen house for a camping trip and I'm wondering if anybody knows what the length of a standard park picnic table is (the A frame tables with attached benches that are as long as the table top is). Please help!

Answer
They are pretty much standard and are available in 6ft and 8ft lengths. They also measure 5.5 ft across, bench edge to bench edge. I have been to State Parks however that were a bit larger than 8ft. If you are going to a campsite, you can call ahead and they should be able to tell you the table sizes before you go. A 10'X10' screened in dining fly should cover any of the easily and still allow you room to get around in them. Happy Camping!

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Title Post: How can I make my book better?
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